FIMBY

Wrote this post, journal style, 3 days ago on our first day of vacation. Today we have wi-fi access at our campground, in the Maine woods no less. Don't despair, subsequent days improved...

Miserable, am I allowed to feel this way when camping? What about selfish? Miserable and selfish, and this is supposed to be my vacation. Think I'll eat another marshmallow...

I'm an expectation person. Day to day life often doesn't disappoint me but an expectation unfulfilled can frustrate and in this case deeply disappoint.

Up until 3 months ago I hadn't expected to upgrade my camera for another year or so. And even then I wasn't expecting much. Let's see we're a family of five with one modest income (I haven't earned a cent
for 9 years), kids who eat like caterpillars, car repair bills, immigration lawyer fees and a house that's freezing cold 6 months of the year. Oh, and all our family lives in another country. You don't want to know how much international plane tickets cost these days.

Then the government announced it's economic stimulus package. We did the math, 2000 bucks. Wowsers! Maybe we could get those replacement windows afteral so I wouldn't freeze through yet another Maine winter. But then my thoughtful husband suggested we get a new camera, and a nice one, sooner than later. My artist self easily convinced my cold winter self to wear more layers.

Prior to this I had no expectation for photographic greatness anytime soon. And it's that expectation and the subsequent months of camera researching that made today's discovery so heartbreaking. Because Damien has a work visa and I have a dependant visa and therefore no social security number (I will when we're permanent residents) we don't qualify for the stimulus check. Not even Damien and the kids qualify since we file taxes jointly. Of course Damien is a tax paying resident just like any other. Go figure.

All those months of planning, pining and drooling over a beautiful camera that would soon be mine. And dreaming about all the images I could capture and share - gone.

And when do I find this dream shattering news out? 30 minutes before we leave the house for our much anticipated week long summer camping trip. When I decided to investigate why our check still hadn't arrived after yet another week of waiting. We'd expected it would be late because we filed taxes late, but we didn't expect it would be never. Better late than never, ain't that the truth.

Now to add injury to insult I'm beating myself up for being upset. "Yessh, you're so selfish girl. Lots of people in this country, especially this state, can't afford their winter heating bills and you're boohooing about a fancy pants camera. And on top of that this is your vacation, you "should " be enjoying yourself and being a peppy mother, your kids depend on you." Yada, yada.....

Bitter diappointment with a generous serving of guilt. I can think of better ways to start a vacation.

Today I'm tired, very tired. But I'm also thankful for the sun finally shining on our little corner of the world. The first day nice enough this month, August 13th for pete's sake, to go to the beach.

So, I'm sitting at the beach with one eye on my fish and the other on this notebook*. In the warm sunshine, listening to the splashing and laughter I'm able to forget the mess I left behind at home.

We've just had an intense 2 nights and one day visit with three Appalachian Trail thru hikers. A visit that included a potluck supper last night opened up to coworkers, homeschoolers, friends and pretty much any ol' stranger that wanted to come.

This morning Damien drove our new friends back to the trail in the mountains about 1.5 hours from our home. I was left to face my own "mountain" of clean up. Three disheveled guest beds (I'd like to point out we don't actually have a guest room so these beds are located here, there and everywhere in the house), a front porch full of trail debris left behind by smelly backpacks and mounds of dishes and food littered floors from hosting 20 people, half of them rugrats 9 & under, for supper last night. Faced with this daunting reality I did the only sensible thing to do. Left it all and came to the beach.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have hosted and met the three hikers who left this morning, they had trail names (an AT thru hikers tradition) so this is what I'll use to describe them.

(Sm)ellie, the quiet, well prepared and easy going woman from Georgia. On her way to grad school (2nd time around) to further her studies in the interconnectedness of anthropology, bio-medicine and computer science(!). Philly, the storytelling cartoonist from Virginia and Kentucky. Also on his way back to school to pursue a playwright and acting career. And of course Vagabond, also known as Daren Wendell, the man walking around the world on the Earth Expedition to raise awareness and funds for the Blood:Water Mission in Africa. A guy who literally owns only the what he is carrying on his back (Myke you would of loved meeting this guy).

What an awesome experience and privilege to host these folks in our home. If you ever have a chance to put up AT thru hikers in your home - do it! I'd do it again in an instant once the fridge was re-stocked and the sheets washed. People who have been hiking 15-20 miles a day for months, sleeping in the rainy woods and eating ramen noodles and potato flakes for days are pleased as punch with whatever hospitality you have to offer. Just make sure to have lots of food on hand. Hot water and laundry soap doesn't hurt either.

Someday when our family is trekking through North American mountains, backpacking across Europe or doing mission work in Costa Rica, carrying our beds and shelter on our backs I hope we'll be able to crash on someone's floor and get a fresh meal. Afterall, as our guests told us "on the trail, hikers take care of hikers". We're all on a journey, a trek through life. Too bad more people don't live by the creed "travelers on this journey of life take care of fellow travelers". What a nicer world that would be.

Show hospitality, share your table and your garden veggies, make up a bed on your floor. Although you'll be providing rest to the weary you'll be the one enriched. Let's take care of fellow pilgrims on this journey of life.

*post written yesterday in my notebook while at the beach.

Ack! I haven't blogged for 3 days. I'm starting to twitch.

It's been a busy weekend. The sun shone (hallelujah!) and once the flood waters in the backyard receded I tried to rescue the beans and staked leggy perennials. We had a supper around the firepit with friends and watched an outdoor movie at a riverfront park in our community. Ah... summer.

But mainly we started to pack and plan for camping later this month. My contribution was to spend 5 hours yesterday, our anniversary, at the laundromat washing and drying our down sleeping bags. Which take like, forever to dry. But are oh so warm, fluffy and light so I guess are worth the extra time and expense of cleaning them.

At least I didn't just sit there mindlessly watching the tube. In between swiping my "laundromat debit card" a gazallion times (coin-less technology but alas no wi-fi) I finished putting together the kid's portfolios for their yearly homeschool review which takes place this week.

An evening out with friends at our favorite restaurant in the Old Port redeemed "the anniversary" aspect of the day. Wonderful Japanese food, with lots of laughs and these lovely gladiolus given as an anniversary gift.

As if that wasn't enough activity for the weekend we also prepared to host Daren Wendell of Earth Expedition, for a couple days this week.

My best friend Damien (my date yesterday night) has been following this guy's trek for months and invited him to stay at our house on his way through Maine. We weren't exactly sure when he'd be here, sometime in August. When you're walking around the world it's kind of hard to pinpoint these things exactly.

Well, we now know exactly when he will be here. In a couple hours. Damien's picking Daren up right now, along with 2 extras. Apparently, when you find friends on the trail you stick together.

I'm so excited. Finally we're having some strangers stay, something I've wanted for years. To host travelers and pilgrims, practicing real Christian hospitality.

We're also planning a potluck supper for tomorrow night. If you're reading this you're invited. Daren's not just hiking the world for fun. He's doing it to help raise awareness for Blood:Water Mission. And we're hosting a potluck, hopefully the RSVP list will outgrow our home, to help him spread the Blood:Water Mission message, "to build clean wells in Africa, to support medical facilities caring for the sick, to make a lasting impact in the fight against poverty, injustice and oppression in Africa".

So, we're all really jazzed around here. To have someone stay in our home who's hiked the Appalachian Trail (something my crazy family aspires to), who's walking around the world, and who's raising awareness for something we believe but haven't done much about. Lets face it, "life" easily gets in the way of all our convictions to fight poverty, injustice and oppression..

Woo-Wee. There is some serious fun happening in my back yard...

PS. If you want to come to the potluck you have to RSVP for directions and such. Contact me here.

Yesterday we lived summer, under a bright blue sky. Hiking up and through a rushing brook, wading in a mountain top pond, picnicing and snoozing on the rocks, eating handfuls of wild blueberries.

Tumbledown Brook Waterfall

East Corner of Tumbledown Pond

Webb Lake, Mount Blue State Park

Wild Blueberries on Tumbledown

Keeping this simple (trying to enjoy my good life), no hike synopsis, except to say it was many times better than last weekend's hike. I really enjoyed the day, even enjoyed the physical exertion, and time spent with my family.

Blackberry Blossoms?
Tumbledown West Peak: At this point we were all asking Daddy "Are you sure we're hiking up that?"

Guess the trail powers-that-be haven't met our children

I'll leave you with two of Celine's hiking observations.

"That breeze is delicious" and "The (pine) smell is so sweet". Couldn't agree more my dear.

Ok, so Friday was a tough day. I guess looking back it wasn't quite so bad. All I had to do was hike uphill (both ways it seemed) 5 miles through bug infested forest and muddy bogs. I take that back, it was nasty.

Saturday however, was a gift from God. A late breakfast. Gorgeous blue sky and sunshine, mind you Friday was the same but my head was in the trees and eyes on the trail so I didn't pay much attention. The highlight of the day was water, especially after hot sweaty Friday.

Albany Mountain reflected in Crocker Pond

First, we headed to Angevine Park in Bethel to play in the mountain fed creek. The kids also splashed a bit in the pond but I'm more of a creek gal myself. Oh, and Angevine Park had the most beautiful public restrooms, seriously. You really notice those things when you've been using outhouses. After a picnic lunch at the park we headed into the village of Bethel for an outdoor art show and pit-stop at a cafe.

Cooling off in mountain creek at Angevine park in Bethel, ME

We spent the latter part of the afternoon and suppertime at Screw Auger Falls in Grafton Notch State Park. Lovely, lovely, lovely. More cold refreshing water. The kids and Damien explored the rock formations in Bear River past the main section of the falls. My job was to take photos. We plan to return to this less visited area of the park sometime after a hot hike and actually swim in the pools beyond the main falls (behind the rock Damien and kids are climbing on).

Rock Climbing in Bear River at Screw Auger Falls

Damien prepared supper on the rocks of the upper falls, complete with freshly baked wild blueberry pie. Ok, he didn't bake the pie, we bought it on our way to Grafton Notch at Puzzle Mountain Bakery, a roadside shack (literally) on Route 26. The pies are actually baked on-site in a cabin set back aways from the road. Speaking of food did I mention yet that Damien plans and prepares all our camping meals. What a great guy! Seems he really wants me to enjoy myself.

Happier Camper at Screw Auger Falls

And I did, once I got over Friday's frustrations. On the drive home we wrestled with a couple questions.
How does a family:

• pursue a life of adventure with a beach bum mommy?
• keep true to their non-chem, non-toxic products policy and still enjoy the Maine woods without being eaten alive?

Any ideas or kick-insect-butt repellent recipes welcome.

I have no idea why the shot came out this way. The camera was in a manual setting I don't usually use. But I'm really pleased with the result.
Laurent crossing Bear River at Screw Auger Falls, ME

We're home now after camping 3 nights at Crocker Pond, in the White Mountain National Forest. A rustic and kind of buggy small campground overlooking Crocker Pond and Albany Mountain. A really lovely spot if you've got bug repellent and can boil water for cleaning up.

This past weekend was the first time I've had a really rotten hike. And here are my thoughts about that experience. As written in my 4x3 inch travel notebook while on the trail and later at the campsite. Tomorrow's post will be a little more upbeat.

Not all hikes are lovely.
Not all hikes are awe-inspiring, mountain conquests.

Some are buggy, boggy, bushwacking trials, or trails, of endurance.
Toe-stubbing, foot tripping, leg aching treks.

PMS at all the wrong times.
Lots of sweating and no shower at camp - ugh!

Weary tears of fatigue and frustration.
Unable to discipline myself to reach the summit.
Too tired to care.

So pathetic compared to my seven year old son,
whose energy is boundless and sense of adventure undaunted.

Seven hours of hiking, four hours too many.
Shaky legs, sweaty body, tie-erd feet.

Walk on through, rushing water.
One more creek crossing, end in sight.

We greeted the first day of summer early so we could get into the White mountains mid-morning to avoid late afternoon thunderstorms. Maybe it was the early morning or the huge meal (Damien's birthday supper) the night before but I was cranky and sluggish all the way up. We had a little shower up and on the way down but the summit, although gray and foreboding, was dry and we ended the hike in tree-dappled sunshine.
Top of East Royce Mountain: View to the west, yes those clouds were coming our way

Down East Royce Mountain: I was out of my state of self-pity by this point
After our hike up the 3,100 foot East Royce Mountain we headed back towards home and out to The JED Collective, "a group of organizers, parents, cultural workers, farmers and healers", for a potluck party to celebrate the summer solstice. In addition to the great locally grown veggies, meats & breads we enjoyed the company of friends, the privilege of meeting new folks, a soccer game in the summer evening light, and lots of romping around in a field of wildflowers.

Solstice all ages soccer game

Wildflowers: Celine's holding homemade doll Isabella in arms while picking wildflowers

It was the perfect Tougas family summer solstice. A hike up a gorgeous Maine mountain with a breath-taking view and then supper, consisting of many Maine grown foods, with friends and community folk.

Vanessa and Manis: JED friends

This past weekend we camped for 4 days and 3 nights at Camden Hills State Park. A great camping area; lots of trees & hot showers with easy access to miles of hiking and ocean. The area itself is touristy with lots to do and see (if you want to spend $$) but the natural beauty is what attracted us and what we enjoyed most.

Here's a facebook album of our trip. Accessible even if you aren't my "friend". On that note I was disappointed with most of the photos I took, must of been using a funny setting on my camera, oh well. With that disclaimer, here's a couple shots of our kiddos in their outdoor element: